Friday, October 22, 2010

never believe it's not so

This past week has been kinda rough for me. I realize that it's not the rough that a lot of people have to deal with on a daily basis, so before I go further in my explanation I want to stress that I am very, very grateful for my life- I have an amazing and supportive husband who I love dearly, I have wonderful family and friends, I have my health, a roof over my head, clothes on my back and food on the table. I have many more blessings to be thankful for than I do complaints. But, even with all these blessings there are times when I am just not feeling my life. I question my purpose, I doubt if I am on the right path, if my dreams will ever come true. To put it simply, I stop believing in magic.

And this was one of those weeks when I didn't feel the magic, when I couldn't trust that magic even existed, when I just wanted to give up on all this magic talk. How could I possibly trust magic when I didn't get a callback for the play I would have been great in? I mean, not even a callback. How could I possibly trust magic when I didn't get the barista job that I am clearly overqualified for? I mean come on, it was a barista job. Back in the day I was the best shot slinger and milk foamer there was.

Then 2 things happened this morning that changed my perspective.

I received this email from Ebert, it was a letter written by Christopher Walken to his fans. I've definitely experienced more of "and then it wasn't" as an actor and I'm really looking forward to having a "busy year". But, I don't know, just hearing that a great actor like Christopher Walken has to deal with "the not so busy part" of being an actor gave me hope. I could feel the magic stirring.

And then when I checked my Facebook I had quite a few 'likes' and several lovely comments from friends in response to my status update yesterday: "is closing her eyes tight shut and wishing and wishing for the magic that she has to believe is right around the corner."

One of the comments was a link to this video -

I've replayed the video and have reread everyone's comments several times already. By sharing their magic with me, my own magic has been inspired. To be was very magical! So, even when I don't feel it, I'll keep reminding myself to always trust magic, because it's not always the magic that I envision, but it's always more magical than I expect.
Ho, ho, ho, it's magic.

Never believe it's not so.

It's magic, you know.

Never believe it's not so.

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